After Houston author Isobella Jade’s father passed away unexpectedly in a fire at his home, she discovered keepsakes in his car that triggered memories of him and their complicated relationship. A pocket knife, clipboard, a tattered wallet, and other treasured mementos inspired Jade to write a memoir, “Running Rebel and Mad Dog, A Memoir of Heirlooms Left Behind,” that details intricate memories with her father and her journey through grief.
Growing up, how would you describe your relationship with your father?
“I write about how through my child eyes of a nine-year-old, I didn’t notice my Dad’s addiction and his alcoholism as much. I knew that his breath smelled funny and that he slept a lot. But I didn’t grasp how terrible it was for my family. My memories of him are when he’s a little tipsy drinking, singing on the porch oldies songs. He wasn’t mean. He wasn’t angry. For us to bond, we didn’t go many places. We went over to this old track, across the street. Our connecting time or bonding time was built on him timing me there. I would race, do 100 meters, then run back, and then I would get confident over time and run all the way around.”
Which of your father’s heirlooms mean the most to you?
“I could’ve easily walked away from him when he was facing addiction, having a really hard time, going in and out of rehab. I could’ve been like I’m going to give up on my Dad. The pocket knife [he gave me then] was a symbol of us connecting, because he started to talk to me about his issues, when I was 12. He started to explain to me some of the things he was going through. It taught me about having compassion for others. The pocket knife for me is when I decided he’s imperfect, and I was going to accept him anyway."
Writing about grief and loss can be cathartic but also extremely hard. How did you cope?
“I cried a lot. I still cry when I write about him. A lot of it is because what I was putting down on a page, was a lot of things I didn’t get to say. It was definitely challenging. I [would] print out my work, take it to the park, and hand edit. Walk off some of the grief and then go back to my computer and type. It was definitely not just a quick overnight process. It was about five years. Reflecting on those times took a lot of emotional energy out of me.”
